DROP IT DROP IT DROP IT HARD!! wub wub wub!!

Why do I have this empty emotional pit starting in me, it feels like it’s getting bigger and bigger.

I love how I post this, and it’s in relation to myself, amd someone gets angry. I mean thos about myself, being yelled at is fight or flight for me, so the fact that I chose flight and didn’t start a screaming match means I’m handling g this better then my old self, if you want to get upset, then be upset, if the shoe fits, then lace that bitch up…

I’m the one gaslighting? Well how does it feel, I’ve been gaslight for years, and now it’s on you? It hurts doesn’t it, it burns your soul, admits not pleasant is it? I hate fighting fire with fire, but, sometimes you have to show them their true selves, and will they still understand? Probably not.

I wonder how it feels. To be normal. Not this over whelming feeling of guilt, frustration, anger sorrow. This feeling of wanting to just dissappear. I don’t feel wanted. I did at one point, but I don’t now. Nobody wants me and that’s fine. Just please, don’t pretend.

I just find that I never do anything right, I can’t ever please anybody, and all i feel like doing is dying. That way they can all regret the trauma I’ve gone through, the pain and suffering to know that even if I end up in hell or heaven, that I will finally be set free. No pain, no suffering, I can finally rest in the great beyond, by myself, all alone.

If pain is weakness leaving the body, why do I still feel so weak.

ruinedchildhood:

(via lost-lil-kitty)